every now and then on my tiktok feeds i get one of those videos “when people say ‘we should get coffee sometime’, or 'go out for lunch'”, they don’t actually mean it. and like if you actually expect coffee, you’re missing social cues, and might be stunned socially.

what the actual fuck? why are you people so fake-nice all the time? in my country, if you say to someone “mogli bi smo na kafu” (lit. we could go for coffee), if you don’t actually follow through, you are a rude prick if you don’t follow through, and not the person actually expecting coffee.

why are every day things just social filler in this fucking language we call english? in every other language words have actual meaning. english, just decided out of no where, that some things are just polite to say, and you shouldn’t actually expect what you were offered? like how does living like this make any sense for you guys? its super fucking weird.

i get it, some words can become social filler, like “how are you”, basically meaning hello. we do that, too. tha makes sense. but fake-inviting people? thats so damn weird. if you invite someone, you invited someone. for an example if you tell someone “ajde na bleju” (lit. let’s chill) you’re literally inviting someone to hang out. if you ghost them, you guessed it, you’re a dick. doing the fake-polite “we should hang out someitme!” is just plain rude in my part of europe.

and coffee isn’t actual coffee, it translates more towards “let’s go hang in a coffee shop”, what you order is up to you. “let’s grab coffee” actually means “i wanna sit down and talk with/to you”. coffee doesnt mean, drink fast and go, it means sitdown, and slow drink, for at least 30 mins, but preferably at least an hour. in english-speaking communities ‘let’s get coffee’ implies “probably never”, in my country its usually almost always implies “sure, name a time and a place”

i really don’t understand why did you guys build your entire society on lies. you lie to people to be “nice” and then the person needs to lie back so the circle doesn’t break. you guys live one fucking insincere life. everyone lies, and everyone is fake polite. it literally makes no sense.

in my part of the world we live by social trust, and not protecting someone’s time and/or feeling. if you invite someone, you better be sincere. like i said, inviting someone to a coffee isn’t quick, in paper cups kind of coffee, its at a sit-down coffe shops. you aren’t supposed to check your work emails, or anything like that. it’s some sort of ritual connection. offering someone a coffee means “i am willing to share a piece of my day to sit down, and talk with you”, in english-speaking world it just means “you’re cool, in theory”

to me those fake invites, fake compliments, and whatever else you guys do feels extremely dishonest and i will never fully understand it. but maybe that’s just me.